What if Hitler fed himself to a bird?

Hello my dearest loves.

I have been really struggling with writing this email.. and I honestly don't know how to start it.

&& I am pretty sure the reason for my struggle is 100% because:

I saw this line in a gaming Discord server the other day and oh my god.

^ someone asked: "What if Hitler fed himself to a bird?"

And people answered with stuff like "he gets shit out" and "decomposes into another Hitler."

I know. I KNOW. Stay with me here.

‘ I'm sitting there thinking... this is effin’ brilliant. Not the Hitler part obviously, but the concept. The absurdity that makes you stop and go "...what?"

& then I realized why it stuck with me.

Because maybe you're practicing the wrong thing over and over and decomposing into a worse version of yourself without even knowing it (see, I told you I'd connect it).

Here's what I mean:

Practicing doesn't make you better. Practicing the RIGHT thing makes you better.

Practicing the WRONG thing makes you worse.

Maybe I'm just... getting crankier? [insert yikes emoji].

Hopefully I'm just entering my "actually telling people the truth" era.

OK but here's the whole point of this email - I want to help :)

So here's what I'm doing:

Send me ONE piece of cold outreach you think is good.

One email. One DM. One job proposal. Whatever…

I will personally review it (in the evening when I have time because that's when I can sit down and actually focus)

And I might even rewrite it for you. Or give you a template I've used successfully.

I haven't fully thought through what I'm giving out yet - I know that sounds weird but I'm figuring it out as I go - but I know I want you to start 2026 with some actual self-awareness about what you’re writing and saying. To read your own outreach out loud and have a critical opinion about it before you send it to hundreds of prospects.

yes! free help! fun.

I want you to get the best results. I want to pull from the highest quality sources, the cleanest strategies, and deliver it straight into your hands.

Reply to this email with your best example.

Let's see what we're working with.

As always, thanks for reading y'all. and. thanks in advance for actually sending me your examples so I can help.

xoxo.

ps. and hey! maybe your outreach is already great and I'm wrong?

If you don't care about cold outreach (or already know that you suck at it), or you're just here because this subject line was effin’ weird...

well. thanks for reading anyway.